Do you remember the composition you wrote on water safety?
Here's one written by one of your classmates.
"Wow Sue! Your sandcastles are so nicely built!", said Andrew.
"Thank you!" replied Sue. Sue and Andrew used buckets and spades to build the sandcastles. Jerry was dribbling his blue and white beachball while Jim went to the washroom.
Five minutes later, Jim came back from the washroom. Jerry went to take a break and he left his beach ball on the sand. Jerry's blue and white beach ball rolled into the sae without him realising it. Jim saw the beach ball floating in the sea and tried to retrieve it.
Jim was a poor swimmer. To make matters worse, there was a high tide then. The strong current swept him away. By the time Jerry realised that his ball was missing, it was floating in the sea. Jim tried to retrieve the ball and was far from shore.
A few seconds later, Jerry saw Jim struggling and shouting, "Help! Help!". Jerry immediately dived into the sea to rescue Jim.
Jerry quickly dived into the sea. He managed to rescue Jim. He pulled Jim out if the sea and performed CPR on Jerry. When Jim regained consciousness, he felt grateful and thanked Jerry. Jim went to take a rest.
Q1) What do you think makes this a good composition?
Q2) What do you like / dislike in this composition?
This is the best composition ever. I would like to know who wrote this composition.
ReplyDeleteQ1)I think that the good phrases and words about water safety in the story makes this a good composition.
ReplyDeleteQ2)I like the describing words and the new water safety words in the story like blue and white beachball and regained consciousness.
I think this composition is very well writen.
1)i like the word to make matters worse.
ReplyDelete1) One thing that I think that makes the composition good are good sentences and good words.
ReplyDeleteA1)The words that the writter used are good.
ReplyDeleteA2)I like the phrase"to make matters worse".
the composition has a lot of good phase that miss cao had go though with us
ReplyDeleteThis composition is the best composition that I had read in my life!But I wonder who wrote it:#One thing that make the composition good is :
ReplyDelete1.It has good phrases in the composition .Anyway,the storyline flows very well.
2.I like the phrase"To make matters worse"
Anyway I want to tell Ms Cao that,paragraph three,line 3,the word sea is spelled wrongly.
That composition was great! :)
ReplyDelete1)There is good sentences in this composition.
ReplyDelete2)I like this composition because it is the best composition that I had read.