Do you remember the composition you wrote on water safety?
Here's one written by one of your classmates.
"Wow Sue! Your sandcastles are so nicely built!", said Andrew.
"Thank you!" replied Sue. Sue and Andrew used buckets and spades to build the sandcastles. Jerry was dribbling his blue and white beachball while Jim went to the washroom.
Five minutes later, Jim came back from the washroom. Jerry went to take a break and he left his beach ball on the sand. Jerry's blue and white beach ball rolled into the sae without him realising it. Jim saw the beach ball floating in the sea and tried to retrieve it.
Jim was a poor swimmer. To make matters worse, there was a high tide then. The strong current swept him away. By the time Jerry realised that his ball was missing, it was floating in the sea. Jim tried to retrieve the ball and was far from shore.
A few seconds later, Jerry saw Jim struggling and shouting, "Help! Help!". Jerry immediately dived into the sea to rescue Jim.
Jerry quickly dived into the sea. He managed to rescue Jim. He pulled Jim out if the sea and performed CPR on Jerry. When Jim regained consciousness, he felt grateful and thanked Jerry. Jim went to take a rest.
Q1) What do you think makes this a good composition?
Q2) What do you like / dislike in this composition?
